Elevator Blues
by MissJayne
Summary: Tony and Ziva are stuck in an elevator. What could possibly go wrong? Oneshot. TIVA. For ME Wofford.


_A/N 1: This is a birthday present for M E Wofford, who has been a wonderful friend to me! Happy birthday dear! I know how much you love Tiva, so I thought you might appreciate this._

_A/N 2: Thanks to my wonderful beta Kristen for all her help. I don't normally write Tiva..._

Elevator Blues

Ziva almost screamed in frustration as the elevator ground to a halt between two floors. It wasn't the fact she was stuck that was annoying, more the person she was stuck with.

Her partner.

For some strange reason, Tony DiNozzo had been even more aggravating than usual recently. It had begun a week ago when he had tampered with her chair, causing her to fall to the floor in an undignified heap. Not long after that, she had been subjected to a barrage of paper airplanes. Then there was the time he had slipped some laxatives into her Berry Mango Madness on the same day that the ladies toilets on their floor were closed.

Ziva had barely been controlling her desire to kill him. When she had found out that he had deflated all the tires on her Mini, she had threatened him with his own letter opener. The look in his eyes had made her feel a lot better.

He was so juvenile! A child who had never grown up or learnt about consequences. An overgrown jock who needed to take a one-way trip off a cliff.

So why did she love him?

* * *

Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes as the elevator stopped. Of all the people he could be stuck with…

Although the boss could be worse. Gibbs without his caffeine fix was a terrifying sight. Not to mention that he could see right through his senior field agent…

He wasn't entirely sure why he had been bugging Ziva. He supposed it was an extension of the way he acted when he was younger; pulling the hair of the girl he liked, stealing her bag and pinching her.

However, he was fairly sure that tormenting a crazy ninja Mossad chick with some serious impulse issues was not the best idea he'd ever had. Having the tip of his letter opener stuck into his Adam's apple while she told him all the ways she could kill him had taught him _something_.

He loved her, of that he was certain. He really needed to ask someone for help. Sadly, his options were extremely limited. He would never be desperate enough to ask Probie. Abby would squeal uncontrollably before blabbing his secret to the world. Gibbs had been divorced three times and would drill Rule Twelve into his head for the rest of his life. Jenny was out of the running after the whole Jeanne debacle. Palmer had probably never been near a girl. And Ducky… Ducky would tell him a convoluted story about his youth and never get to the point.

Perhaps he should just come straight out and tell her. In his head, he had a vision of her laughing at him and quashed it ruthlessly.

He could ask her on a non-date. The problem with that was he would never pluck up the courage to tell her.

He could get blind drunk and show up on her doorstep at three in the morning, professing his undying love for her, but he had a funny feeling she would let him sleep on the couch and write it off to the alcohol.

What he really needed was a way for her to read his mind without him knowing about it. Either that, or a potion to give him courage.

* * *

Ziva wasn't sure when she had fallen in love with her partner, but she knew it scared her. As Mossad, she was taught how to lay down her life for her country, not how to love someone.

And Tony wasn't the easiest man to love. She loved him, but she wanted to smack him senseless sometimes. He was a blind, insensitive, ignorant pig –

"Well _Zee-vah_," the object of her thoughts announced, drawing out her name in the way she hated. "It appears we're stuck."

She wondered if Gibbs would accept her excuse for killing him as 'stating the damn obvious'.

"Methinks the boss used the emergency stop one too many times," he continued, oblivious to her thoughts.

She had two guns and three knives on her. The bullets could ricochet, but knives were quick enough.

"Maybe he had too many _private_ meetings of his own." He waggled his eyebrows.

Although she wondered how badly the blood would stain the floor if she stabbed him.

"This reminds me of a movie – "

She slammed him into the wall, the tip of her knife at his throat.

"I'll shut up," he muttered.

"You do that," she countered, releasing him and returning to her former position.

After a few minutes of silence, he withdrew his cell phone and stared at it. "No signal," he told her. "How long before they rescue us?"

"I do not need rescuing," she replied, not bothering to look at him.

"I'm sure the great Ziva David has been rescued before," he retorted.

She turned to stare at him coldly. "Are you implying that I am not very good at my job?"

He pondered for a moment. "No, but I'm sure –"

"Then do not talk about things you know nothing of."

It was his turn to stare at her. "Are you saying that you _have_ been rescued before?"

Her cold stare turned to fire. "Does it matter Tony? We are stuck in an elevator and you are insecting me about things that may or may not have happened!"

"Bugging," he corrected under his breath.

"You think you know everything about everyone." Her voice was starting to rise, anger coming through. "You insist on harassing and questioning everyone, simply to satisfy your curiosity. Yet you hide yourself behind a playboy persona, concealing your true self while exposing others –"

She was cut off as he kissed her.

* * *

Her lips were so soft he never wanted to stop. It didn't help that he was certain she would kill him for this, even if right now she was kissing him back.

Reluctantly he pulled away, and moved back into his corner of the elevator, awaiting his demise.

She stared at him for a moment, her eyes unreadable. "Why did you do that?" she asked.

"Someone once told me it was the best way to shut up someone you loved."

"You love me?"

'_Oops. Did that slip out?_' he thought. Aloud, he replied, "Yes."

She continued to stare at him.

"If you're going to kill me, please just get it over with."

She grinned wickedly. "I am not going to kill you Tony, unless you refuse to do that again."

* * *

Abby peered at her screen intently. "Yes!" she screamed, snatching up Bert and hugging him tightly, causing the stuffed hippo to fart loudly. "I knew if I locked them in a confined space it would work!"

"What would work, Abs?" Gibbs queried, appeared out of nowhere as usual. "And why aren't the elevators working?"


End file.
